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Godzilla vs Japan

4/14/2013

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For those of you who don't know, I have a 2 year old son. He's like any other 2 year old: he runs, he plays, he throws giant erratic tantrums about things that make no sense and he goes on these tangents where he wants to watch certain things over and over again. Six months ago it was Diego, 3 months ago it was Cars 1 and 2, now it's Godzilla movies. Don't worry, we make him watch Sesame Street and edumacational programming too. Anyways, earlier today we were watching some Godzilla movie on Crackle and I had a thought: if this were real, how long does Japan have before another wave of Godzilla destruction?

To date, not counting the crummy American versions or anything NOT from Japan, there are 28 Godzilla movies (per Wikipedia). The first one came out in 1954 and the last one, "Final Wars" came out in 2004. I hear there's another coming out soon, but let's ignore that for the time being.

If you go off of those numbers for a time line, Japan gets destroyed every 1.78 years. Granted, that's not entirely correct. Godzilla movies aren't exactly linear and since I haven't seen them all (I'm betting I've seen most of them) I had to dig around and try to come up with a reasonable number for an in-movie timeline.

One movie popped in my head as a good point to work with, Godzilla vs King Ghidorah. In it, these people from the future (2204) come back and bla bla bla stuff happens. What's important is that by 2204 Godzilla has long ago destroy Japan completely. Can I pinpoint the year? Maybe if I watch the movie. For the purposes of this silliness, I'll simply go off 2204 as an end date.

If Godzilla started doing his thing in 1954 and stopped in 2204, then Japan gets a beatdown every 8.9 years. That's right, even if I go out as far as 250 years, it's still 1 Godzilla rampage per decade. Friggin ridiculous. So, that leaves me with one question; why the heck would you live there?
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