As an addition to the blog, at least for now, I'm going to add a segment called "Things I would do". It's a pretty self-explanatory name, so let's get on with it!
If I wasn't a halfway decent person, I would get on an elevator and wait for another person to get on. During our short moment together, I would do my damnedest to pass gas, preferably the silent variety. After which, I would then look at the other person like they were the most foul, distinguishing human being on the face of the earth. I would give them the kind of scowl that says "holy hell you are a wretched excuse for a human being and your mother should be ashamed".
Why would I do this? Simple. I just want to see the look of doubt on their face when I back away from them and off the elevator. They should know they didn't let the frogs out, they should know if and when their bodily functions operate. Yet, there's doubt. That slight hesitation (if not full out apologetic demeanor towards me) that maybe they did do it....that's what makes this funny to me. Who needs super powers when this kind of mind control exists with just a bit of acting and a potential brown stain?